Mission Reformation | Part 7
May 10, 2025 | Written by Second Deputy Friar Bill Broadhurst.
Day Next.
That we had to return to Edinburgh was not a surprise. It is a city that forces far greater than ours have sparred over down the centuries.
By now we had come to embrace each other’s endearing eccentricities, thanks in no small part to the Rev. Link’s swift mastery of exorcisms. She is obviously a quick study, which will serve her well in her upcoming work towards a D.Min.
But back to the campaign.
We decamped and, under the direction of Mary and by the skill of Tina, moved toward Edinburgh. After a short stop for provisions at Tesco, we advanced along the Three Bridges route. Again, the Scots remained curiously oblivious to our presence.
By sheer force of numbers, we commandeered another ferry and were transported to the island of Inchcolm. There we explored the ruins of an abbey first inhabited by Augustinian monks of the early 1100’s.
Upon landing we ate the lunches we had secured at Tesco. Newly fortified, we broke into smaller raiding parties. The ancient abbey was soon under our dominion.
However, Inchcolm has many centuries of experience in martial defense, and we did not fare as well in the open field. There are hundreds of sea birds that make a home on the island. It was nesting season, and the birds were in no mood for capitulation. Although the troops strove valiantly, we could not gain dominance over the open ground.
We formed up and began an orderly withdrawal. Jeering and diving sea birds serenaded us as we passed, and one cheeky bomber scored a direct hit on Carol Broadhurst’s husband, and Glengoyne Fan Donnie Mugs, with what can best be described as yesterday’s digested breakfast.
The company managed to get Broadhurst, whose wounds were deemed critical, if not also comical, to safety on the ferry. Several expressed sympathy, but most were chortling inside and thanked Providence for this demonstration of karma.
We ferried back to the shore of the firth and took stock. To reinvigorate the troops’ sagging morale, we turned toward the Royal Palace of Holyrood.
When we arrived, we discovered that King Charles and his troops remained in London (no doubt still ruing the cease fire that we forced at Balmoral). As a result, Holyroodhouse was ours for the taking. So we took it.
The palace, which is still a royal residence, was once the home of Mary Queen of Scots. It was here that the Catholic monarch argued about true religion with… (come on, you know this one)… John Knox. It was also the site of the type of intrigue and betrayal that characterized the struggle for control between the Catholic Church and the Reformers.
With this conquest of the palace and its beautiful gardens, the Scots surrendered, and The Completely Unauthorized 2nd Pres (and Friends) Invasion of Scotland came to an end.
The troopers gathered for a cacophonous final supper of Scottish fare and genuine fellowship. Some remained awake far into the night with a game of 5 Crowns.
Tomorrow: Many Partings.
(apologies to J.R.R.T., Carter).
